Where Are U Now
by jessibutlah
Summary: Luisa and Beca have had a rough time, something has happened, but more is about to happen; something neither of them could predict.
1. Chapter 1

That song; the radio was background noise, as her blues eyes scanned the message for what felt like the millionth time.

 _I think we should take a break. I'm sorry Luisa, but I just need some time to figure things out._

Her maus, oh, her small maus; her chest was heavy. Elbows were resting on the island in her kitchen while she sat on a stool, her eyes made their way into the palms of her hand, holding back tears that threatened to overflow. It had been a week since the message had been sent, and the only thing Luisa had sent back was:

 _I will be here for you, always_.

The German woman had never felt like this before. Even through her parents' abuse, through the hell of her childhood, her heart had never felt so shattered in her life. Choking back a sob, she wiped her eyes, getting up from the counter.

 _I need you the most_ , the radio sang, but the blonde couldn't bring herself to turn it off, only up. _Now I'm all alone and my joys turned to moping_ , it sang, leaving Luisa breathless, her fist slamming down on the counter. She lifted her eyes to look over the living area that was in front of her. Nothing had been touched. Beca had only taken a suitcase of clothes and some toiletries before she had left to stay at Chloe's place.

It was the middle of the day, and Luisa just wanted to sit herself on the couch and drink the beers that were in the fridge until she passed out. A soft ring from under the music sounded and the blonde realized it was her phone. Not expecting much and figuring it was Pieter, she clicked the unlock button and nearly choked on the swig of beer that she had pulled from the fridge.

 _I need you. I want to come home. Pick me up at the café we go to every morning?_ \- Beca

She put the beer down on the counter top and shoved her cell phone in her pocket. Fixing her hair a little and straightening out her clothes, she grabbed her jacket and ran out the door. The café was only a few blocks from their apartment.

Just across the street was when the German saw her. She had brought her suitcase with her, and there were tears in her eyes. They weren't sorrowful, but rather the tears you cry when you're happy. Words caught in her throat, and she only managed to yell across the street, "Beca!" Their eyes caught each other's and without thinking Luisa sprinted across the street, heavy with traffic.

The brunette's smile turned to horror, and Luisa felt her body being launched feet from where she had been. A sickening crunch and unbearable pain went shooting through her left side. " _Call 9-1-1 now!"_ a voice screamed. Horns were blaring, tires were screeching, and before her eyesight went dark she watched the small woman rush toward her, sobbing wildly. Her head hit the pavement and the world went dark just as Beca reached her.

"No- no, no, Luisa!" The small woman screeched kneeling next to her battered body. Tears we streaming down her face, people were watching, sirens were already being heard in the distance. "No, no," Beca sobbed, her hand on the blonde's bloodied cheek. "Wake up..." she whispered, her head dropping.

 _Where are you now, that I need you..._


	2. Chapter 2

Beca could only watch, feeling helpless; _No, please, no, please be okay,_ she thought to herself, tears streaming down her face as she watched her girlfriend being dragged away by an ambulance. Her body was bent in an awkward way, and half of her face was covered in blood. The brunette looked down at her own hands, dry now, with Luisa's blood. She was getting hot, and she could feel her eyes threatening to overflow again. Fumbling around with her pants pocket she managed to get her cell phone, even though her hands were shaking.

 **Chloe** : Beca? What'swrong- calm down Beca, why are you crying?

 **Beca:** Chlo, it's bad, Luisa was- she was hit by a car! I- I need-

 **Chloe** : What?! I'll be right the-

Beca cut her off, "No, Chloe, I just need you to grab my things from the street, I need to get to the hospital as fast as I can; Thanks Chlo." Sliding her phone back into her pocket she nearly bolted back towards her and Luisa's shared apartment, being particularly careful of crossing the streets.

Hands were still shaking as she tried getting the key into the door. "Dammit! I don't have time for this!" she yelled, keys falling to the floor. After a few more rushed tries, she managed to click the lock open and she stepped into the small, one bedroom apartment. The brunette's eyes widened a little as she looked at the condition their living place was in. There were still clothes lying around, empty bottles on the coffee table, and dishes in the sink. The blonde was never one to leave messes, and a sharp stab went through the Bella's heart, imagining that she had been the cause of the messes remaining.

Beca only grabbed a few things; she had a feeling that her girlfriend would be spending a fair amount of time in the hospital before she was released. It was hard to imagine that the former DSM leader owned any sweatpants; only ever worn to practice, or if she was feeling particularly lazy with Beca and had a day in watching movies with some ice cream. The girl shrugged, and grabbed a pair, along with a few shirts, and then made her way to the bathroom. _Toothbrush, toothpaste_ … she thought, thinking that would be good enough for now.

The keys to their car were sitting on the island in the kitchen. She rushed to them, when she heard the radio that must have been left on.

 _You show me there's something more to us, than the same old thing, no usual affair…_

Her breath hitched heart heavy with regret, and even heavier with fear. Beca didn't bother turning the radio off before darting out the door, and heading for the parking lot where their Volkswagen sat. Luisa had been against it, but after the brunette begged, and somehow managed to convince her, the blonde only agreed if she could get a motorcycle. The brunette had been to giddy with excitement about their new car, and almost threw a fit when Luisa came riding in one day on her brand new bike. It had only been a small argument, one that had ended in hugs, and kissing, and something that hadn't really mattered to the small woman.

Turning her key in the ignition, the car kicked on, the radio singing to her, _I will never dream of your love till you take me there, till you take me there, ooh babe_. She pressed her head to the back of her seat, biting her lip. "No, c'mon, focus, it's only a few blocks, you can drive there, and she will be ok, and nothing will be wrong. She'll be awake, she _has_ to be awake…" she talked to herself, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand.

Backing out of her parking spot, she put the car in drive now, and headed for the hospital.

The small brunette stepped through the emergency room doors, anxious and her eyes looking around. She nearly ran to the receptionist's desk, tear-stained cheeks almost giving her away; the woman at the desk looked up and waiting for the small woman to speak. "M-my girlfriend, she was rushed here not even thirty minutes ago, where is she?" Beca tried, fearing that her eyes would start to tear again. "Name?" the receptionist asked, her fingers starting to click away at the computer in front of her. "It's uh, Beca, Beca Mitch- no, wait, Luisa; tall woman, blonde hair, _hit by a car_ ," the pace of her voice was picking up, and so wasn't her breathing; anxiety was overtaking her. "She's in surgery right now, and then being moved to the Intensive Care Unit, only immediate family members can visit," her voice was low, and Beca felt like she could nearly scream.

"I'm the only family she has!" the brunette almost yelled, tears falling down her face again. It was against protocol, but somehow the receptionist knew that the brunette may just be right. "Third floor waiting room, I'm sure there will be a doctor you can talk to at some point," she mumbled, writing something on a slip and passing it to Beca.

Once the paper found its way into her hands, she practically bolted in the direction of the elevator, slamming the up button. The wait was agonizing, but the doors popped open and she was in pressing the third floor button.

The waiting room was quiet, there was only one other person sitting there, probably waiting for their loved one that was either in surgery, or something. She pulled the paper out of her pocket, and noted a room number, both for the surgery and the room where she would be in ICU. The brunette sighed somewhat in relief, and spotted the room where Luisa was right now. Oh, how she wanted to burst into the room and see if she was ok, but she couldn't.

Fifteen minutes passed before she spotted a nurse leaving the room. Jumping from her chair she ran towards her, stepping in her way. "My girlfriend, she's in there, what's going on?" she explained quickly, while asking her question. The look on the nurse's face wasn't hopeful. "One of her lungs collapsed; we're having trouble with it, she suffered some head trauma, road burn; there are some fractured ribs, as well as a broken leg, most of those which we can deal with, but there's internal bleeding that it giving us the most trouble..." her eyes watched the young woman's face, "We're doing the best we can for her."

Beca walked back to her seat slowly and slumped back into it. Music, that's what would help she thought. She popped her headphones in, and looked through her music on her phone. Ignoring the messages and missed calls, she scrolled through, and clicked on a song.

 _Say my name, I wanna hear you call; hold me close, I wanna feel your heart; I'm in a cold sweat and I want you bad; now you got me all in my head, like damn…_

Forty-five minutes… one hour… two hours… _I'ma show you how, show you how, show you how, to love again…_ and with the end of that song for about the hundredth time, and bed was pushed out of the operating room that Luisa had been in. Beca nearly leapt from her seat, her eyes watching as the bed was pushed by her. " _Luisa…_ " her voice barely managed to whisper. Half of her body was covered in bandages from the road burn, and incisions from surgery, the other half was still somewhat bloodied and definitely bruised.

There was a doctor walking her way, and she pulled her headphones off. "There isn't much more we can do, except wait," he stated simply, "her vitals are okay, and we managed to stop the bleeding and get the leg set."

"W-wait, what do you mean, there's still something wrong?" Beca stammered, her brows furrowing.

The doctor sighed, rubbing his forehead, "Her room will be set up soon, and you can visit her; walk with me." Beca could only follow, her feet heavy, her heart tired, dreading what she was about to hear. They reached her room in no time, and the nurses had already gotten things set up. There were tubes and wires; things Beca had only seen in TV shows and movies. "Your girlfriend, she's in a coma. There's no telling when, or if she'll wake up." The door was opened, and the nurses left; one holding the door open for the small woman. She nodded only ever so slightly and walked to Lusia's bed side where there was a chair.

Sitting, she wrapped her hand in the German's long fingers, her eyes wandering down her body. It couldn't be held back any longer. The sobs, her body convulsed, thinking that she may be sick. "You better wake up, you _have_ to wake up," Beca sobbed, her hand gripping the blonde's while she rested her head on the bedside.

 _I will never dream of your love till you take me there…_


	3. Chapter 3

Three months passed, then six, soon it was nine. Beca hadn't missed a day by her side. It started with just sitting silently by her bed, holding her hand, and crying. Then she started telling her about her days, how work was going, new things she had gotten for the apartment, things about Chloe and Pieter. Both of them had come to visit at least twice, Chloe being in town made it easy, but Pieter didn't have the opportunity to visit as much, him being in Germany and all.

Beca usually brought the paper with her now, reading to Luisa, remembering how she was always up before her, coffee cup in hand and the paper from that day across the counter. She smiled at the memory, tucking the paper underneath her arm as her fingers curled around the door to Luisa's room. "I'm here," she announced, setting a coffee down on the bed side table. "I brought you a coffee again… please, just wake up," her sentence ending in just barely a whisper.

There were no movements, no noises, just the beeping of the machines, and some of the whirring noises that the brunette had become accustomed too. Her eyes were locked on the blonde's face. The bandages were gone, her face had healed; there was little to know scarring. The only places she was sure there were, was where her head had collided with the pavement, just in front of her ear, and below her temple. Feather light touches brushed the "y" shaped scar, and the heavy feeling in her heart returned. Her eyes fell down the blonde's body from the scar, and down the bed. She was relieved that the cast was finally off the German, scared for what may happen if she woke up and found out she was unable to walk.

After these nine months of nothing happening though, Beca was growing doubtful. She picked up the paper, and looked over the articles, trying to find something that she figured Luisa would be interested in. Nothing looked very good, and so she just set it down, and crawled into her girlfriend's bed. She lay on her side, snuggling up close, and resting her face next to the German's. "I want to sing for you today," she whispered, her eyes looking at the tall woman's face, and how peaceful she looked.

" _I got my ticket for the long way round,"_ she started, her voice soft, fingers tracing small patterns on the blonde's arms. " _Two bottle of whiskey for the way; and I sure would like some sweet company, and I'm leavin' tomorrow, whaddya say…"_ her voice trailed off, choking on her words. What she wouldn't give for Luisa to wake up, for them to go off into the sunset, like some cliché movie.

She was sobbing quietly, her finger's entangled in the German's; but she nearly jumped out of bed when she felt something move against her hand. Beca jolted upright, looking down at their hands. Luisa's thumb was stroking the back of Beca's hand, and the small woman couldn't breathe. She didn't dare, hoping that this wasn't a dream; that she hadn't fallen asleep next to her girlfriend, knowing that it has happened before. Her eyes were met with slightly parted blue ones, and Beca bit her lip, feeling tears welling in her eyes.

" _Mäuschen?"_ the blonde's voice cracked, and Beca felt the German's grip tighten on her hand. "You're awake," she stated simply, smiling and crying at the same time. " _Mien kleine maus,_ don't cry," she started, huffing and feeling exhausted already. Beca nearly pinned her back to the bed when she had tried to sit up. "N-no, stay here, I'm going to get a Nurse," she grinned. Luisa wanted to protest, she just wanted Beca near her, cuddled into her. What had happened? What day was it? The blonde woman could feel herself drifting back off to sleep, but the door clicked open and the small brunette walked in wearing the biggest grin she had ever seen, a nurse following not far behind.

They let the nurse do her thing, and younger woman waited, not being able to hide her excitement. Luisa was given the ok for now, and was told she would more than likely need to remain in the hospital under careful watch for at least the next week. To Beca none of that mattered, but the German let out a groan. She felt weak, tired, everything that she had never been in her life.

"What happened, how long have I been here?" the blonde questioned as soon as the nurse had left. "You… were hit by a car," the smile on the brunette's face disappeared and her eyes fell to her lap. "Beca," the older woman started, cupping the brunette's cheek in her hand, "This isn't your fault." Silence ensued for several moments, before the small woman spoke again, "You've been asleep for nine months. I don't know if you heard it, but I've been reading you the paper every morning, and I got you a coffee today!" Her voice rose at the end of her sentence remembering the coffee she had brought earlier.

 _Every morning?_ Luisa thought to herself, swallowing. "I- don't remember, but… I heard you singing," she smirked to herself, taking the drink in hand. Taking a sip she scrunched up her face. "Ah! Maus, so much sugar!" Beca couldn't help but let out a loud laugh, making Luisa jump, sending small shocks of pain through her body. "Scheiße!" she cursed, bringing her hand to her head, that's when she felt the scar. A frown fell on her face. Beca quickly pulled her hand away, pressing a light kiss to her palm. "You're still gorgeous as ever," she whispered, her words genuine. "Here, let me get you some water," the brunette said, getting from her seat by the bed. "My toothbrush too!" Luisa called after her, and she could feel the small woman smile.

Luisa cursed, feeling useless, while Beca carried all of her things through the apartment door. She was stuck with one crutch under her shoulder, and doctor's orders to keep lightly active and to not overdo it, which meant Beca felt the need to do everything. "No, really I've got it," the brunette hissed, fumbling with the house key, while holding two large duffel bags. The German hadn't seen the need that the tiny American woman bring practically everything to the hospital. Getting tired of waiting, the blonde woman snatched the keys from the brunette which earned her a whine and some protesting, but she ignored her and opened the door quickly.

Luisa stared at the apartment they shared together. Things had changed quite a bit; there were photos of them together up on the walls, whole place was clean, which was to the blonde's surprise; there were a few new appliances, but the thing that made Luisa choke up was the single, lonely beer bottle that sat on the island in the kitchen. Flashbacks form that day, and memories overwhelmed her and she stumbled back a little. "Are you okay?" Beca asked, moving her hand to the blonde's arm. "That bottle…" she muttered, eyes looking away from the brunette.

Beca hadn't been able to throw it away yet. It reminded her every day of the reason that Luisa was in the hospital, why she had ever gotten hurt in the first place. It really had been all her fault, but now, she was awake, and back home. _Home_ , the brunette thought, a warm feeling filling her. "It doesn't matter anymore," she said simply, walking to the counter and plucking the bottle from it, tossing it in the garbage behind her. "Let's just relax and watch a movie?" she suggested, and the older woman could only nod and hobble over to the couch. The trip from the hospital to their apartment had tired her out, she was still fairly weak, and still getting her strength back. Luisa sat back on their couch, arms spreading back across the top, Beca sat next to her, placing her legs over the German's and curled into her side flicking on the television.

While the Bella channel surfed, the blonde suddenly felt a very familiar hunger stir within her. She placed a kiss on the top of Beca's head, but there was no reaction from the brunette. Her hand went under Beca's chin and she lifted the woman's lips to her own. It was soft, tender, with an underlying hunger; but still nothing from the small woman except a content sigh. Luisa huffed in frustration. "Meine kleine maus, küss mich," she grumbled, her icy blue eyes locking onto Beca's.

The brunette groaned inwardly. "You know if I do that what will happen; no intense physical activity, doctor's orders," the woman said, but deep in her stomach she felt it too. She wanted so badly to tangle their bodies together, and _feel_ the things that they had felt before any of this had ever happened; but right now Luisa's health and recovery were more important to her. Luisa's eyes grew dark, and Beca's mouth fell open, almost ready to give in, but she just couldn't threaten the blonde's life more than she already had. "Fine, have it your way, I will just have to kiss you," she grinned devilishly, tilting the brunette's head, and leaving a few open mouthed kisses along her neck.

"Oh god," Beca breathed. This was going to be a long recovery.


End file.
